File this post under “my two cents.” Children in North America who have no parents are commonly referred to as “foster children.” Children from overseas, especially developing countries are called “orphans.” Why is that? They are orphaned for the same reasons reasons in Africa, Asia and the USA. Violence, drugs, and disease are orphan makers in New Deli and New York.
I ask because I am faced with the difference on a regular basis. The work we do at Forever Homes is all about helping parentless kids, and I find myself having to use the very verbose “foster children waiting for adoption and orphans from around the world” when I am really referring to the same thing. If I talk about our work to help orphans find forever homes it implies that I am speaking about the good people doing international adoption. While this annoying the prespective of trying to be succinct and pithy, it bothers me on a much deeper level.
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It has been a year of achievments at Forever Homes. We received our tax exempt status from the IRS, we are having our first big public event, and we have doubled the amount of families we serve. But one mile stone, over all the others, makes us feel “all grown up” — we received our first corporate sponsorship.
Archibald’s Incorporated became the first official sponsor of the “Not Forsaken Campaign.” The Archibald name is synonymous with the highest levels of ethical business practices resulting in unparalleled levels of customer satisfaction since 1981. They were named the fastest growing small business in Washington state and 7th fastest growing in the nation by Entrepreneur magazine. In addition to their outstanding reputation in the Tri-Cities as a dealer of high-end pre-owned vehicles they will go down in history as the first business sponsor of Forever Homes.
All of us here at Forever Homes appreciate the faith that Archibald’s has placed in our ability to help hurting kids. All money received from the “Not Forsaken Campaign” will go to serve children stuck in foster care and orphans from around the world.
The first year or two after the placement of a child with an attachment issue is very difficult on the child and the family. I equate it to a trauma treated in an emergency room. It is not pretty and there are some extreme measure that need to be taken to stabilize the patient. Having gone through this myself a couple of times, I wish I had had something I could have given to the people around me to help them know how they could help (actually not working against me would have been fine too). I wrote this list so that adoptive parent can have something to hand to their support network. Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments below.
1. Don’t offer unsolicited advice. You were a wonderful parent. However, adopting an older/special needs child is different. The child acts different around the adoptive parents than they do around anyone else. You probably think advice will help, but when you offer advice all the parent really hears is, “You aren’t very good at this.” If the parents feel their decisions are being scrutinized, it creates an added pressure. Instead of thinking about what would be best for the child in a given situation, they’ll be wondering how others are going to judge them. If you really want to help, see 6 & 7 below.
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2 years from the date of our incorporation, and 8 months after filing our application, Forever Homes has finally received its letter of determination from the Internal Revenue Service declaring that we are exempt from Federal Income tax. Although I knew that there wouldn’t be a problem receiving this status, I am relieved that we finally have it. We have heard horror stories about some organizations that waited two or more years from the application date to receive their letter of determination.
So what does this mean to our donors and families? First, donors gifts dating back to August of 2006 are, in fact, tax-deductible, as are all gifts, bequests, and devises from this point on. Second our families can count on increased level of support as we are now able to launch publicly, begin public fund raising, and seek grant money for programs to help abused and neglected kids find permanent safe and loving homes.
Since this is such a momentous occasion, I thought I’d take a quick trip down memory lane and take a peek into the future of Forever Homes.
Join us in for a concert at South Hills Church on Friday May 15th at 7pm for as we rally together to proclaim that the 120,000 children waiting for adoption in the United States and the 5 millions orphans around the world are not forgotten, not abandoned and NOT FORSAKEN.
Christian Music artists Shawn McDonald and Meredith Andrews will be on hand to lead in worship and inspiration. Tickets are $10 in advance and $15 at the door. You can buy them online here, or pick them up at South Hills Church or Parable Bookstore. Doors open at 6:30
